02.06.07

eDissonance

Posted in Society at 18:30 by Wormwood

I know, I know, everyone’s complaining about eHarmony these days. With all those ads, they’ve become an exceptionally pervasive force these days. I’m sure everyone can answer this one: How does eHarmony match people? Say it with me, class: Twen-ty-nine-di-men-sions! Gotta love those twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility, doncha? They ensure you’ve found you a soulmate!

Normally, I don’t object to most ads, even most of eHarmony’s saccahrine-laden tripe. What I do object to, however, are ads that include little more than thinly-veiled attacks against a particular company’s detractors.

More after the jump.

While idly “watching” some must-have-already-seen-it-TV on Monday night, I “saw” (read: “heard”) an ad for eHarmony. Normally I just tune these things out, but suddenly a red flag went up in my mind. Flipping back through my internal transcript of the ad, I realized that one of the “testimonials” included the claim (possibly slightly paraphrased, emphasis indicative of tone):

If you’re honest with yourself and honest with the process, you’ll find the person you’re looking for.

This is the very definition of those “WTFM8″ moments I mentioned in the Mission Statement and FUQs. It took me a minute to realize why that phrase raised such an immediate red flag. It finally came to me - the ad’s implying that those who don’t find their “soulmate” aren’t using the service right! I put “soulmate” in quotes because it seems to be more of a buzzword with eHarmony than anything else (an “informal contributor” posits that it preys on people’s desire to find someone who will unequivocally, unconditionally put up with their BS - I’m inclined to agree).

Let me give you a scenario. I provide a service. I produce ads that, via testimonials, indicate a high rate of success with my service. Over time, I produce ads in which the testimonials indicate an otherwise-unstated guarantee that my service will work. Now, we live in the information age, so if you use my service and don’t get a result, you can get that criticism all over the big truck series of tubes we know and love as the Internet. So now, rather than producing an open letter explaining the possibility of failure, or even directly attacking your criticism, I instead produce an ad that implies that those who don’t get results simply aren’t doing it right, or sticking with it long enough.

If I were a medical professional, that’d be quackery. So why does it slide with eHarmony?

And now for the transparency part of this evening’s program.

What I (Supposedly) Know:

• eHarmony performs human-powered matchmaking based on the magic “twenty-nine dimensions”.
• eHarmony’s ads continually imply that you will be able to find “your soulmate”, “the one”, etc.
• eHarmony has come under fire by critics for several reasons:
  • not including “dimensions” such as body type, income, etc.
  • matching paid members to unpaid members (unpaid members cannot send or receive messages from their matches).
  • irregular match frequency
  • perceived “pressure matching”

What I Interpret:

• eHarmony puts forth an image of being a great matchmaking site, with a high success rate and long-lasting matches.
• eHarmony’s “twenty-nine proven dimensions” seem to be less of a matter of real psychological research, and more of a marketing buzzword influenced by Dr. Warren’s experiences with his own clients and relationship.
  • This is further evidenced by the fact that I cannot find any mention of these twenty-nine “proven” dimensions outside of Dr. Warren’s work. Sure, he’s got a Ph.D. in psychology, but I’m not seeing peer-reviewed work here.
• The anecdotal evidence pointing to paid members being matched with unpaid members indicates a level of obliviousness that should be countered by the fact that the matchmaking is (ostensibly) performed by hand.

My Opinion:

• Much like John Gray’s heavily-criticized Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Dr. Warren’s “twenty-nine dimensions” looks like yet another gimmick to try to “cause” functional relationships, rather than a method by which real, known issues are handled in an even-handed, functional fashion.
• Whether or not the “pressure-matching” (high volume of matches after an account is cancelled) is intentional, it fails to give a positive image of eHarmony’s utility as a sustainable singles community.
• eHarmony’s criticism of the “picture and a paragraph” sites comes across as unnecessarily elitist, considering the criticisms that indicate that the picture and the paragraph have been deciding factors in whether or not a pair begins communication, let alone dating.

Reaction Summary (Pure Opinion):

• eHarmony needs to lay off the lovey-dovey “we have the perfect life” ads unless they’re willing to make the same disclaimer as weight-loss products: Results not typical.
• Merely matching people on similar “dimensions” is practically worthless - while two people may have the same “curiosity” score, one may be a world explorer and the other may be a basement tinkerer. They may not even be attracted to each other. The “picture and a paragraph” idiom again becomes more of a major deciding factor than the “twenty-nine proven dimensions”.
• Final Thought:
  • “You’re doing it wrong” is a meme best left to 4chan’s /b/tard subculture. Leave the accusations at the door. Kthxbye.

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